I'm a weird guy. I used to get bullied when I was younger. Was the loser in class and got zero attention from girls.

At the age of 21 (I'm 25 now) I met my first girlfriend. Personality straight 10/10 like I cant imagine a better personality. Looks were like 6.5/10 then.

Now, she gained 20lbs in fat while I gained 20lbs in muscle. I look decent. Suddenly I get attention from random girls when I'm going out with the boys. I love it. I even crave it, maybe because deep down I need to compensate my teenage years. I've kissed two girls when partying aka. I've cheated on my gf. I felt terrible about it but the attention felt so good.

I honestly dont know what to do. I've always seen my gf as my lifepartner, my future wife and mother of my children. But on the other hand I feel like I am too "damaged" to stay faithful. I keep wondering about other, hotter girls out there.

Yeah this is gay