My pops and I had a very contentious relationship. Don't get me wrong though, I love and respect my father. We have both been through a lot and understand each other more.

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At the time he was in the military and a super christian. My sisters could get away with murder. My brother and I? He was very strict.

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Thinking back what he did would be considered abuse but the times were different. I also have the advantage of looking back at how shitty of a kid I was and and thinking how he could have been much worse. I don't look back as though he abused me though.

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At a young age he would whip me with a leather belt. This was almost a weekly thing but it was also due to my doing something. Either fighting in school or getting in trouble. He and I had also been in a few tussling matches and only 1 fist fight. I regret these because I was the one who instigated them.

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I was an angry kid. I was kicked out of school and expelled due to fighting. Thinking back it's not that I was angry at my parents or really any reason that I can remember. I was just angry.

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I grew up. Joined the military. Came home and realized that, though his reaction might have been excessive, I could have been better. I regret how I treated him. He beat the shit out of me and I blame myself.

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The point of this is everyone's situation is different. How we let it impact us is also different. No one can tell you that what you went through wasn't shit. You have got to figure out how to manage as the rest of us do. Maybe talking to your pops about those incidents will help? He doesn't sound like a bad father, as my pops wasn't a bad father either.

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I hope you figure it out and wish you the best.