Man.. that joke was funny, too. It made me smile. (: it's good to be able to joke about something that bothers you, if it helps you express your feelings at all. If that bothers another person or makes them uncomfortable then that's not your fault. As people that are supposed to love you unconditionally they should be able to see you for you. Those jokes were funny. I would have laughed and given you a hug. Family sucks.

But you're not truly alone, and try not to think "they'll get tired of me soon" because it is the BPD talking. Just be yourself. If for whatever reason they do leave, you cant blame yourself because you are an awesome person, and sometimes people move on. That's not your fault.

Try to focus on positives, your family isnt great, maybe, but you have your boyfriend and this community! Try to appreciate your boyfriend for who he is and pay attention to how he treats you and how you feel with him. Talk to him about your insecurities of you think thatd help. Try and communicate! Dont get down on yourself, you're still a person and you still deserve people that understand you!

I hope your holiday gets better!