I have been in relationships with wonderful men who loved me for me and you know what ended them? The fact that I couldn't get over these things. They didn't care what I looked like but the fact that I was too ashamed to have sex with the lights on or take a shower together despite them knowing what I looked like was something they couldn't get over. I vowed to never hate myself again. The only person that attitude hurts is yourself. There are amazing people out there who care about what is on the inside and I just hope that maybe I will be lucky enough to find one again someday. I also realized that if I couldn't be happy on my own, I couldn't be happy with someone else. I do what makes me feel good now. I workout, I eat well, I take care of my skin the best that I can and I wear what makes me feel good. I dedicate my life to helping others now and have finally been able to be happy without someone else in my life. I do what I love and make the best of what I have. It's not easy, it never has been. You don't grow from things that don't challenge you. Just take like one day at a time and stop worrying about what anyone else thinks. Things will fall into place and you'll find happiness. I can't say I will ever be happy with my body and think I'm beautiful but I have to love and accept what I have. If you're unhappy with the shape of yours, go workout! I didn't see results for a long time either, it's not a change that happens overnight. I also spent some money on a personal trainer to take the guess work out of fitness and it made a huge difference. If that is something you can't afford, there are a lot of online resources and even subreddits that can help. I know /r/bodybuilding can be intimidating but there are some great people there and a great FAQ. I think my biggest obstacle I had to overcome was accepting that change, physically and mentally, is a life long process. If you fall down, pick yourself up and start again :) I have fallen off the wagon, cried, wanted to give up, but I knew persistence would get me to where I needed to be. I am honestly 1000 times happier now than I have ever been in my life, shitty skin and imperfections and all.