That’s kind of a big glitch. And I can understand how all parties involved could have been hurt, especially your date’s partner. But alas, if they were poly-seasoned and had some experience between the both of them, I would hope y’all had a convo about sex, expectations, boundaries etc ahead of time. It doesn’t sound like you did.

Given the situation, I think this was a great learning opportunity for you and is now a chance for you to figure out your boundaries, communication style, values and what you’re looking for in a poly relationship. I hope your date isn’t a piece of shit and does come around and there’s a conversation, because even more can be learned from that convo from what they could have done better and what you could do better in the future / what to look out for / your safety.

We’ve all been where you are, no worries.

Usually, when I have group sex, very rarely is there a sleepover (I love sleeping in my own bed) and there’s actually a ton of communication that happens around people’s boundaries, traumas and expectations.