Dealing with the interpersonal decision between you and your wife is really the challenge here, not so much the "how do I get back to NYC" or "how do I find enjoyment where I live now?" If you're in a different place than your wife on what you both want, in terms of living, then you need to find some degree of compromise.

Is there a world where you have both? If you're an hour out of the city, could you commute in and work in the city 3-4x/week? When I moved out of NYC and to a suburb of LA, I found myself going back to NYC on a monthly cadence. That was also wildly expensive, but I wouldn't change that lifestyle (as time went on, I found myself getting more and more burned out with going to the airport, the long flight, etc, that it went from once a month to once every two months, to once every three months, which sort of weened me off of that desire and I found more enjoyment in the comforts of home).

Point being - is there a compromise? I have a co-worker who is in a similar situation, where he bought a house way about two hours out of the city during the pandemic. But kept his apartment in Williamsburg. He set up a schedule with our boss where he goes into the office 3x/week, so he stays Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday in his apartment and then goes back home Friday-Monday. Is something like that an option?

For what it's worth, I also tried therapy, and never really found success in not wanting to be in NYC. Maybe I should have tried harder, but I found that this balance of some cadence of being in the city, and trying to bring city-like comforts to suburbia (IE, DoorDash made delivery more accessible, joining Equinox near the house made a more urban-like gym experience, etc). Maybe push yourself to start going back into the city, and see if the effort to get back into the city starts to make you appreciate the fact that you have the city at your disposal, any time you want, or if it pulls you in more?