I mean... like I said in my post, my husband admitted to what you're calling a "planned conspiracy." The reason he admitted? Because I asked him how he knew her... he didn't want to outright lie so he tried to pass it off as not that big of a deal (which again, it's not the fact that he slept with others that upsets me, it's the fact that he intentionally kept me out of the loop even though I kept him in), and after two days of talking... he finally told me the truth of why he kept me out of the loop. There was no "out of the blue" confession. He just didn't expect me to ask how he knew her.

Yes, it does hurt a bit knowing that he slept with other women. Like you said, that's healthy. But, what hurts more and what worries me about my marriage is knowing that he knew I would want to know something that he did and yet, he made an effort to keep quiet about it, so I would stay with him.

But, anyway, thanks for your opinion.