Gentlemen raised by young single mothers, how did it affect you?

Well, without stating her exact age, she had just dropped out of college before having me. My parents divorced shortly after getting married, and I was raised by my mother. My dad is a pretty passive guy, so mom pushed for full custody and as much in child support as she could get. My understanding is that this was largely to ensure she had the upper hand legally, since she granted my dad weekend visitation rights and allowed my dad to pay only what he could afford in child support payments rather than the full amounts.

We went through some difficult times together, and she made a point of stressing the importance of being tough and stoic towards life's challenges. Though we faced life together, there were many times that both of us were pushed to our breaking points. While I have always had a very good relationship with my mom, and I love her dearly, I do still have a few rough memories from my childhood.

My relationship with my dad was therefore always at a distance. Though we are on good terms, and I also love him with all my heart, it's often hard for me to relate to him on a deep level. He's often pointed out that my personality has been shaped heavily by my mom, which he has mixed feelings about. For her part, my mom has picked up on behaviors and traits I've received from him, a couple of which she strongly dislikes.

It's hard to say how much of who I am has been shaped by this dynamic, however I have, and have had, a few personality traits that would seem to be related to this. For whatever reason, I have had difficulty learning from female instructors and have a much greater affinity for male instructors. I've also noticed that my body language tends to be more similar to that of my female colleagues than my male colleagues, which I've been told makes me at best seem "nonthreatening" or at worst "helpless".

On the whole, it's difficult for me to say if being raised by a single mother was good or bad. All I can say is that it definitely seems to have affected my development as a child and as an adult. Nowadays, I seem to have "gaps" in my understanding of how to "be a man" to put it bluntly. It's hard to be objective with feelings, but I would say that I only really feel "manly" in contexts similar to those in which I've had male role models that I respected. I think that it may have also strongly shaped the way I understand relationships, but I'm less comfortable in sharing those observations.

/r/AskMen Thread