I empathize with everything that you wrote, except please, for the love of God, don't harm your son in order to "spare" him.

As for the woman who said you being a human with human emotions created a rift between you, fuck her. Woman like that make me sick. Don't catch feelings, right? Just fuck around like an empty, plastic person. Sorry, I'm really bitter at the whole world right now, and your story rang so very true with my own experiences in life and trying to find a meaningful connection with anybody. And being told I'm not allowed to have feelings. Guess I'll just cut out my own heart and throw it in the trash then since having a heart is a liability in the modern world.