submitted 28 days ago by u/amerkanische_Frosch

The Creation of Woman

[Yes, I know, it's been posted before, I can't help it.]

Adam was moping around in the Garden of Eden. Suddenly a light flashed and there was the Lord.

"What's the matter, Adam?"

Adam replied: "I'm lonely. There is nobody to talk to around here except that slimy serpent who keeps on wanting me to get into trouble. And since you won't let me go near the Tree of Knowledge, I don't know how to cook, and meals of raw berries and nuts are not very good. And I keep on having these "urges" that leave me very frustrated and I don't know what to do about them."

The Lord thought about this for a few minutes and then said: "I have it! I will create WOMAN for you!"

Adam was intrigued, and asked "What is WOMAN?"

The Lord explained: "She will bear and raise your children with no complaint. She will cook you delicious meals that satisfy you and will never ask you to help with the preparation or with the cleaning up afterwards. She will satisfy those "urges" you have at any time of the day (or month) that you want, and in any way, shape or manner that you desire, with no regard at all for her personal pleasure. And, should there ever be any cause for misunderstanding or dispute between you and her, she will address the issue directly and work with you towards resolving it, never resorting to sulking or artificial silence, hinting or any other form of subterfuge. She will be the perfect helpmate for you."

Adam reflected on this. "Sounds great! But...what is all this going to cost me?"

The Lord responded: "An arm and a leg."

Adam thought about this for a while.

Then he said: "Err...what can I get for a rib?"