Got a few extra dollars and some card donations... Who's ready for a ~$450 Steam giveaway?

When I was young child, I was born in poverty family. Every morning, I walk down 35 flights of stair to wait three hours for use communal bathroom. I brush teeth with finger and bathe in the cleanest mud. I walk back up 35 flights of stairs to go back to my room that I share with three hundred and twenty two other people, and we stay warm together every night.

When I went to school, mother packed me bread crust sandwich, but I only get one bread and had to make sandwich self. At school, I learn for three hours of glorious leader and spend four hours chanting and wishing for long life. However, I of rebellion. Instead of wish for glorious leader life long, I wish for potato.

One day when I was walking in village, I see shiny in window of house. Is golden on top with fat bearded men, and is saying amerikan text on side. I want of knowing what text is say, so I take tooth from mouth and scratch shiny into big flat rock. I take rock and ask roommates if they speak amerikan, but none is of speak. I walk in every single floor of building and ask every if they have speaking of amerikan, and none having of speak amerikan.

I find school teacher and ask if have speaking of amerikan and she slap me and say "don't speak of filthy capitalist american you little shit" and she steal and break stone.

Joke of having upon her, however, I is of memorize stone. Image of fat men and amerikan text is forever in memory. I must know of amerikan text. Is goal of life.

I into school every day and chant more loud, more passion. I chant so loud I into having scholarship of college in next town 3 km away. I want into spyink agency of glorious nation, and must into having amerikan of speak.

/r/pcmasterrace Thread Link - i.imgur.com