When we first started dating, it was with his "red flags." Like when he mistakenly thought that I was friends with all of these guys, and that all of these guys were old FWBs. (He later explained about the orbiters, and how all women only have them around to use.) Last couple of times, I don't know. When I told him I wasn't as happy or comfortable in the relationship anymore. When I brought up TRP. We are always going to talk about these things, but never do.
In the end, I know I'm not perfect. I was skittish about relationships in general in the beginning and historically move slow, and I do understand how that either doesn't make me appealing or makes him wary in return; there was damage there that I caused. I also have learned that I cannot go to him for help, without knowing his views on women who always use men for help, nor would he be someone I feel safe going to if I were to legitimately get raped (since I know how most of the men here view rape and the women that it happens to), etc.
The feeling like it's always kind of a lose-lose situation isn't a good one, and it's probably best if I just start over with someone new after taking a looooong break from dating. I have never been in a relationship where it felt like so much of a mind game or walking around on eggshells before. While I agree that strong people are great, maybe TRP is just not for me.