It was an October night with an orange aura in the sky that rang through the atmosphere like church bells. I found myself at a wine-tasting with my dear friend, Fortunato. We fancied ourselves conoisseurs, and as it goes we were walking through the rented-out festive tent tasting different imports.
"Luchesi!" Shouted Fortunato. Although not the first shout of the night, this shout caused my ears to retreat into my head.
"Old friend! What brings a low-class individual like you to this high-class establishment?"
"I wouldn't call this high-class. The drunks are many and the vomit is plentiful." Sputtered Luchesi through his 120-year chardonnay. His bloodshot blue eyes emitted a certain aura of pretentiousness and his voice affirmed the implications. He had gray hair, and a party gown that looked like it could have been worn at the last supper.
"Drinking wines that are younger than yourself now, I see?" Fortunato poked at the old man.
"I will not take this blasphemy from such a young and indistinguished man!" yelled Luchesi as he took a mouthful of Chardonnay and sent it spraying across Fortunato's velociraptor-themed attire.
Fortunato was obviously not amused with this as he attempted to leap over the low table seperating the two, instead landing on the table and bringing it to the ground along with Luchesi. Luchesi struggled under Fortunato, their hands gripped tightly on each other's faces.
I pretended not to know them for the time being, and took the quick break to try the new shipment of wine from Paris. 30 minutes later I find myself at the bottom of a glass of Luchesi's choice of chardonnay.
"Montresor my friend!" calls Fortunato, from a distance too small for this volume of shouting. He was covered in blood and he had scratch marks on his face.
"And what of Luchesi?" I asked.
"Oh, that fool! He is in the hospital. I blinded the man and broke 4 of his ribs!"
"Maybe you shouldn't have put authentic hawk talons on your velociraptor costume." I offered.
"I think they were a fantastic idea."
"Taste this chardonnay! It's simply amazing". I handed him a glass of chardonnay and he took a sip.
"Why, this is the best wine I have ever had! I have an idea!"
The choice to put my trust in Fortunato's idea soon led us to an empty attic along with a large barrel of 120-year chardonnay. It was a dark room with cobwebs and dust lining the walls. Through the window we could see the front of the party, with many people mingling on the patio below.
"Shall we crack open this barrel?" Asked my friend excitedly.
"Make it so!"
Before we knew it we were a quarter of our way through the barrel and at the beginning of a long conversation. I had not had as much to drink as my friend, and i could tell he would not be remembering any of this.
"Why do you insist on wearing that velociraptor costume wherever you go? I dont think it is as funny as you think it is, and people may take you for an annoying person." I said to Fortunato.
"Do not curse my dinosaur costume! You are the annoying one! All you do is talk, you act so smart, but you know nothing of the world and nothing of wine!" Fortunato slurred.
"You are the worst friend i have ever had! You are so sour to me!" I give my dear friend everything and I am anything but sour. I say goodbye to my good friend on a good note and leave the party. My anger boils inside me as I head toward my house. I have a devious plan. Down in the cellars of my house, I have many different wines. It is where I keep my collection. I go down the stairs with my torch and head toward the very back of the crypt. Here is a shallow hole in the wall, perfect for fitting one person.
Fortunato would not go unpunished for his hurtful insults.
Was that really so damn hard? No, no it wasn't.