I have a white dad and I don't identify as white at all. I learned a long time ago that people don't see me as white.

I still get annoyed that I absorbed and imitated so much white culture growing up even though people don't see me as white. I was also very into martial arts flicks growing up so I didn't have a problem seeing myself as Asian. I wished I was more Asian so I could fit in better with other Asians. As I got older I would watch action movies and began to notice that Asian guys were asexual or never got laid. I also noticed that white action heroes would almost always get laid, especially in movies where they go to Asia and beat people up. I became more aware of people fetishizing Asian women and this bothered me even though I didn't understand why. I also started noticing more racism towards Asians. People that don't know I'm Asian would say racial slurs around me without even thinking about it because they assumed I was Latino or something. I would also notice people treating me differently when they learn that I'm half Asian and half white.

Basically, it wasn't until I got older that I realized how Americans viewed Asian people. I'm not depressed, I'm mostly just pissed off. Whenever I forget about my race, I get reminded when I see a white dude with an Asian woman. So I'm probably going to be very pissed for the rest of my life. I just try to channel this anger and energy into something positive. I've seen how other hapas end up.

But seriously fuck society for being this way. it's really bad. Most people that are one race, don't even realize how tribal and savage they are toward other people. I know the truth because I get the treatment from white AND Asian people. anybody that claims to be "colorblind" is a fucking cunt. Anybody that says racism is in the past is a fucking cunt also. Fuck anybody that can ignore racism and pretend everything is great because it doesn't effect them. These people deserve all the fear they feel when they hear about riots and violence happening near them.