I identify with this quite a lot, especially the part about not being able to think of things you like about your body (I tried that same list exercise and could only come up with my ears and my wrists). I think over time I've realized that trying to make myself like the way I look doesn't work, because thinking a lot about what I look like just feeds into obsessing over what I don't like about myself. What's worked for me is consciously avoiding thinking about my looks at all. I try to keep away from habits like looking in the mirror too much, looking at pictures of myself, spending time googling things related to my insecurities, or dwelling on any of it in general.

I also noticed a long time ago that being complimented on aspects of my appearance doesn't make me feel better about myself, and often makes me feel worse. I think part of this is that it reinforces the idea that the way I look is some really crucial aspect of myself, or a really important part of why people like me, and that runs counter to cultivating pride/esteem in other (and to me, much more important) parts of who I am. There's only so much you can control about how other people talk to you, but I've found that explaining that to friends/boyfriends can help.

In short, I've found that when I'm able to control/eliminate negative thoughts about my appearance (not trying to replace them with positive thoughts, just not thinking about it at all), that's when my self-esteem lifts. Not sure if that makes sense, or if it would work for other people, but I hope it helps!