Once upon a time, I met a man who had gone through a nasty divorce. He had gained custody of his two kids 8&13. My kids were 5&8. We got the bright idea that our love for each other would be enough to create a safe and happy environment. So we moved in together.

From the very beginning I decided to love his kids. Whole heart. I also promised myself that my two kids would not be pushed aside. It was a mess. Our parenting styles were night and day.

His kids were broken, the older one especially. Years of counseling didn’t help her. Our couples counseling didn’t help. Once the teenage years hit we fought constantly. It felt like us ( my kids & me) against them ( his kids and him). The love I had for them would never be enough to make a difference. I never tried to take their mother’s place. And at least I can say they never once said to me, “you can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my mom!”