It's tough, I know, I was in your exact position. Making the first step towards getting help is the hardest thing most people can do. "Subtle" mental illness is really stigmatised, especially depression and anxiety. It seems to outsiders that they "just need to get over it" or "man up" or a million other unhelpful phrases without realising just how crippling it can be for both people. If you're like me then you feel absolutely powerless because the person you love is in pain and you can't do anything to help. All I can suggest is to be there for her. Remind her often how much you love her, do your best to look after her. She'll know she's hurting you and will probably be afraid you'll get sick of it and bail, reassure her that you won't. At the same time, ramp up the pressure slightly on her going to the gp. The gp can prescribe medication in the first instance but if you're willing to wait they can refer her to counselling as well. Our gp was wonderful and has been really supportive so far.