Sort of sounds like the drinking isn't helping you much any more - unless I'm reading too much into it.

Bottom line, if you want to quit drinking, AA can help you do it.

Part of the way it helped for me was to show me ways to deal with life on life's terms, without growing excessively fearful, angry, whatever - feelings I used to drink to numb out. AA even helped remove all temptation to drink for me (over 12 years so far) even in times of great adversity: unemployment during the '08/'09 recession, wife dealing with cancer being a couple of the more prominent adversities (but sometimes it's just a rotten day at the office or something!)

When I first looked into it, it struck me as a bizarre religious cult - that was an inaccurate perception on my part, just anti-religious prejudice, really. (AA really looks religious on the surface, but it's only as religious as an individual recovering drunk wishes to make it.)

In pre-pandemic times, the typical suggested introduction would be "find a meeting near you, go and hear for yourself." These days, most of meetings have been various forms of online meetings - see https://www.reddit.com/r/alcoholicsanonymous/comments/fisgl8/online_intergroup_meeting_directory/ for some lists.

See https://aa.org/ for lots of information, https://aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources to find AA near you.

If you really want to get ankle deep right away, read "Foreword to First Edition" and "The Doctor's Opinion" from https://aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous