Never really talked about this, especially on the internet, but I'm posting because it might help someone out know they aren't alone.

My daughter was stillborn at 37 weeks. My partner had a scan due but I got called into work. As everything had been going well we agreed it was fine for me to go in. It was the only scan or hospital appointment I'd ever missed.

On the way to work I got a call from a midwife telling me I needed to get to the hospital. I rushed there as fast as possible and was ushered into a small side room that was basically a cupboard with some chairs. My partner was inside crying her eyes out. The midwife sat me down and told me something has happened and babies heart had stopped and that it was too late.

I was just numb. No reaction, just nodded along, and tried consoling my partner. She explained what was going to happen next, how we'd move into a special suite for parents in our situation and start giving birth. About an hour goes by and I excuse myself to get just a breath of fresh air.

Well I just walked out the maternity ward, over the carpark to a small grass verge and just collapsed, screamed like I never had before and bawled my eyes out.

Then I just composed myself and walked back in. It wasn't healthy, I know, but at the time I just knew I had to be strong and help my partner.