As a guy I can relate to everything you've said except being a women... my advice would be to get involved in something that brings you "happiness" that doesn't involve a man.

I'm in school right now, and I'm depressed as hell, I'm just trying to finish and I don't even know if I want a job in my field... but what keeps me going is reading thru one of many Arabic language learning books that I have and thinking about my future trip to Sudan.

And then I think about getting a job, and then going back to my home country and hopefully finding a wife but it terrifies me because i have super social anxiety and don't know how to talk to women (i'm not exaggerating)

My point is I don't know if I'll be able to get married myself, i'm sure millions of people have this problem, but you will be alright inshaAllah. Just try to focus on doing things for your sanity and happiness that you can control.