Im in a weird position, I am a single father raising two daughters on my own....but a few years ago I remarried, had a baby, then had a huge falling out, turned out she wasnt divorced when she married me....drama drama drama.

I havent seen my daughter since she was 6 months old. She is almost 8 now. I wish I could explain how hard it is for me to stay out of her life. I wish it didnt just sound like a lame ass excuse. I wish I didnt sound like an ass everytime I tried to explain how angry and hateful my ex is towards me. I wish it didnt sound like a copout that my daughters got a half sister older than her, a half sister younger than her, and a step daddy that is sure to give her another half sibling sooner or later.

I hope at some level you believe me when I say, I wish my ex would contact me for child support...I save money for an emergency that she may never tell me of.....

I hope that Ive made it clear that I love all 3 of my children. It is just as hard for me to be nothing to one as it is to be the other twos everything.

Now that Ive done with my ramble.....

I am sincerely sorry that your first attempt with your father went so poorly. Who knows...maybe he really is an asshole. Maybe however, 6 years ago, he was in a different place than he is today. Maybe he has grown up a bit. In any case, I have to say that whatever reason he had for his actions in the past....at some level the shit eats at him. Im not saying he deserves anything from you...But I am suggesting...Show him the man you have made yourself into. Try again....and again a few years later. Pick a date, mark it on your calendar and every few years track him down till you either dont feel you have anything left to say....or it becomes a joy not a burden.

I hope someday to have a chance to find a relationship with my daughter. Until she seeks me out, or is out of her mothers house...its just not going to happen. I dont expect sunshine and roses...and I dont deserve them....but I certainly hope to find a way past it all.

Good luck.