How do you counter people who manipulate a situation so they come out on top no matter what you do?

What if I can't completely disassociate? They are in the same community as me, and I don't want to give up the whole community. Yet no matter what I do they have something to say about me behind my back. And only bits make their way back to me. If I try to fight back, then I'm fighting back and that's bad. If I try to be open, productive, talk respectfully or be nice I'm a creep. If I try to explain how I'm genuinely feeling, I'm using my emotions as a weapon of manipulation. If I do nothing then they're still right because I didn't dispute anything. If I cut them/their friends out then it's because I have something to hide and I'm guilty of what they're saying. But the community is so interconnected that I can't completely disassociate from it all.

/r/AskReddit Thread Parent