I had one. Met 4/5 years ago through another mutual friend. We were gamers and decided to meet for lunch one day (never met before) at Chipotle. It clicked right there. Got to talking and I said do you have a best friend? He said no. I said well, were going to be best friends. He said you can't just say it. Lol. We started hanging out all the time, doing stuff together, basically we became brothers. We initially never shared a lot of stuff but as time went on, we both became comfortable and did share, me more so than him. I trusted him with everything and he knew me better than I knew myself. I also knew him better than he did. It was pretty funny how we already knew what the other was going to say, do or react.
We became roommates over a year ago and that changed the dynamic. Our friendship was good but was starting to erode. Some of it him, some of it me. It was a joint venture. We each wanted the other to change yet neither of us would listen. There was an unspoken competition between us. Who could be more secretive, do the most stuff without the other, jealousy, arguing and the like. We talked about it many times and we both knew we were acting like assholes to each other but we just kept doing it. I thought I was a really good friend. He just wanted me to be like all his other male friends. I'm not sure what he really wanted and it just got to the point were the arguing and constant back and forth was not worth it. Our lease was up and we had different paths at this point so we decided to not renew. A week and a half ago, we moved out and have not spoken since.
I always said I was an open book but he did not agree with that. We're both hard headed, me more so than him. I show my emotions, he does not. There is a bit more to the story but the short version is here.
Going from doing everything together, always talking, having that one person you can trust, rely on, talk to and confide in to a complete 180 - no communication is pretty hard. I considered him my brother I never had and I loved him. We all have our flaws and I wish it would have worked out but I just don't think it will.
It fucking hurts but you push it aside and move on to the next chapter of your life. I will never find anyone like that again. So if you have one, cherish it and enjoy it. Never lose touch and don't let the stupid shit ruin something great.
I miss ya bud.