How do I get my boyfriend to stop bottling up little issues until they turn into big ones?

My old friend did this. Never noticed until we became flat mates. We ended up having a few heated arguments because he expected everyone to telepathically understand how he was feeling at all times.

Probably not what you want to do to a boyfriend, but I told him he can’t say nothing then just explode. That’s not a normal way to behave. Told him he was being a huge arsehole. He seemed to take notice, like he got quite upset because he didn’t realise.

That only lasted 2 weeks and he blew up at me again and we almost got into a fight. I moved and didn’t see him for a while, then he moved back down to my home town. He used to live here too and moved back down shortly after.

Anyway I introduced him to my friends and they seemed to get along, one night I called it early and they carried on the night by going to his after. A couple days later my friend calls to say the guy completely lost his temper. To his credit, I know what they’re like when they’re drunk, but I bet what happened was they were being loud and drunk, he said absolutely nothing and eventually blew up. I’ve had them around my house before and you just have to tell them to keep it down, like it’s not even something you’d think twice about.

I still see him, but my friends don’t like him. One of them said if he shouts at his girlfriend again he’ll do something, the girlfriend, one of my best friends, doesn’t want to see him again. It was a bit awkward at my birthday party. I like the guy and think he doesn’t do it on purpose, but we’re all mid twenties now and you need to get a grip on your emotions if they’re affecting others.

I had a drunk heart to heart about it with him recently, I think he got it. I’m not going to lie, it makes me look at him differently. I’m not saying dump your SO, but people need to realise when they’re being dicks and take responsibility. If they refuse to make the effort to change then you need to decide if it’s something you can live with.

/r/AskMen Thread