All this bullshit nonsense. First off, anyone who tells you you were in love with her is lying, even yourself. You gave yourself the illusion that you were in love. Your feelings were genuine, your confusion was brought on by comparison of triggering that feeling when she was around. So you assume that her = your feelings. This is number one mistake every chump makes, including myself when I were in same position. It took me years to realize the feelings are not always mutual, in a sense they can be if your partner is empathetic to them and shares same ones. It is the essence of yourself that you feel. You can if you try invoke those feelings without them being around, and that love you felt is the love you express, solely based on certain events. Your mind fools you to withold it from the non-intimate relationships. And you seem to fall for the only triggers you are offered. You are lazy in the perspective of self emoting. You are capable of using same attachments toward any body and even fall in love with animals and pets. Your attachments are your own. They are your mental binds to the world you see around yourself and you pick and choose non uncinditionaly. No one can give you the will to express unconditional love than yourself.