Thanks for this. My best friend was in the NG and was deployed to Iraq. He was always more of a "rear with the gear" guy, and that's what he described his time in Iraq like, save for a few tense moments. Still, he was over there a long time and, except for a handful of stories, he never talked about it. I didn't really push him to.

Part of me is jealous of the connection he has to his fellow soldiers. I didn't serve. I sat my fat ass on the couch and played video games about what he woke up to every day. He's adjusting well though. Great wife, two sons, and using his GI bill to pave the way for his future.

There are a couple of ways you and others who face what you do can go, that I see. You can go for a job that's mostly independent and/or caters to hiring veterans. The inanity and superfluous nature of office life can be a bit too much to take for a lot of vets. It's hard to think that not putting the cover on the TPS reports or who Mary in accounting is banging are important when you've been shot at in some God-forsaken desert.

You can also nurture your friendships with civilians. If you look down on civilians because their concerns and problems are less important than life or death, well....at this point so are yours. You're back in their world, which should be your world, if you want to live in it.

I think vulnerability forges close relationships, and nothing makes one more vulnerable, and "allowed" to share that vulnerability than war. Taking that risk in the civilian world is MUCH greater. I suggest time, and a little bit of alcohol. That's just me though.

Anyway, I probably don't even know wtf I'm talking about. I'm not a counselor or psychologist trained to give you any advice. Good luck in your continued reintegration, however you choose to seek it.