You are very insightful and it’s great that you are realizing all this now. You said it, but I can confirm, life, particularly married life, gets harder in many ways as you get older. Using porn as a coping mechanism pulls you deeper and deeper into the swamp and you end up living a life of mediocrity. I am by all accounts successful as well but know with 100% certainty my relationship with my wife could be a tons better, I could be crushing it at work and could be a much more social happy person. Porn is like a brick wall that surrounds you and prevents this. I have failed a few times as of late but am renewed in my commitment. Porn will no longer be a part of my life and masterbation and I need a new relationship healthy altogether.