Hi, bud. Sorry you're feeling so down about things and yourself. I sympathize. I spent a lot of time feeling that way at your age. I want to address that before I say anything about music.
First of all, I'm not a professional. I doubt anyone else here is. So take everything we say -- about anything other than our taste in music -- with a grain of salt, okay? I'm not going to give you any advice. I'm just going to tell you a little bit about my experiences. Whether those applies to you, and whether the lessons I've learned are helpful or not, is for you to decide.
There is nothing interesting about me or even anything normal.
As you can see by the name of my throwaway I am trying to improve myself instead of sitting in the corner and feeling bad.
I spent years telling myself essentially the same thing: "I'm deficient and I'm trying to improve." Mostly that refrain ('I'm trying to improve') and that belief ('I'm deficient') served only to make me feel worse about myself and made my situation worse. The more I told myself "I'm bad/deficient," the stronger the belief became. The stronger the belief became, the more insecure I was. The more insecure I was, the harder it was for me to make friends, be comfortable around people and become the person I wanted to be. In other words, the belief that I was defective or deficient or bad not only didn't help me to 'improve.' It put more and more distance between me and my goal.
I was in my late 20s before I finally understood -- really, truly understood, in the sense that I grasped the idea emotionally, not just conceptually -- that my desire to become 'better' and 'improve' got things backwards, and my thinking was self-defeating.
The belief that I was deficient didn't change when my circumstances or achievements changed. Because I believed and was convinced I was deficient, it didn't matter whether I had friends, because they were my friends only out of pity, or because I was too lame to have cooler friends, or they were just putting up with me but really didn't like me. I turned down girls who liked me because I was too embarrassed by their interest and too embarrased by myself. Clearly no girl who had any sense could like me or think highly of me or believe I was smart and interesting -- or if she thought so, it was only because she lacked those qualities even more than I did.
So my belief that I was deficient didn't just isolate me. It made me really fucking mean. I was nice enough to people superficially (or I thought I was; maybe I wasn't; in fact I'm sure there are times when I wasn't), but privately I was judging everyone around me just as harshly as I was judging myself. How could I possibly enjoy being around people, and how could I make friends or form relationships or enjoy the attention of girls I liked, if that was how I felt? I was constantly putting myself down, constantly putting down the people around me down who made the unforgiveable, stupid mistake of thinking I wasn't as bad or boring or unambitious or unaccomplished as I thought I was. Or I was putting down the people around me for not being better than me.
But you know what? When people liked me, it wasn't because they judged me to be 'adequate' or 'superior,' as I wanted to be. It wasn't because I liked the right things and had clever stuff to say about books or movies. It certainly wasn't because of any skills I had, my grades, my vocabulary, my 'cleverness' or my obscure taste. None of those things made people like me, and they didn't make me like myself. People liked me because they enjoyed the person I was. Or they liked the person they saw behind all the insecurity or despite the insecurity. This was particularly true of adults, who tend to be patient with a kid like me because they can see very easily what he's struggling with and how hard he's was trying. They can see that a good kid is struggling, in a lot of pain and trying his hardest to sort it out.
I didn't start sorting it out until I did two things. First, I started taking prescriptions for depression and ADD. It sucks and I still hate it. But getting my mind in order wasn't possible until I'd gotten my brain in order. Once my brain was in order, I was able to do the second thing: realize that the problem wasn't that people didn't like me or that I was inadequate; rather, the problem was that I didn't like myself. Once I really saw that and understood what I was doing to myself, and how mean I was to myself, I was able to see that there was absolutely no reason for me to think as badly of myself as I did.
This thought experiment helps me illustrate the kind of epiphany I had: I imagined one of my closest friends, and I imagined that person saying to him- or herself the kinds of things I said to myself, the beliefs I kept reinforcing. This was the only way I could see how viciously mean to myself I'd been: when I was abusing myself, I couldn't see the cruelty or harshness, because I clearly deserved it. But when it was directed toward someone I cared about? That was obviously not ok. Nobody deserves to feel that way about themselves, and nobody actually has any good reason to feel that way. If my friend said those things, I'd do my damned to prove that my friend had value, was worth an awful lot more than s/he thought, and was a good, decent, great person. Why, then, did I think it was okay or reasonable to treat myself so horribly?
So I worked on changing the belief. I still struggle with it. But you know what? The more comfortable with I am, the more open I am, and the more willing to try new things. The more open I am and the more I try new things, the more I meet new people. And the more I meet new people, the greater my changes of making friends, meeting women I like, and having the life I want.
In other words, if you're anything like me, you're not going to like yourself more or become more interesting to people or make more friends simply because you've 'improved.' learning to like yourself more is the most important improvement you can make, and it'll go a long way towards giving you the things you want. Indeed, it'll help you figure out what you want, because if you don't like yourself, you may be suspicious of yourself, critical and dismissive of the things that make you happy.
I have to run, and I wasn't able to write anything about music. If you want some suggestions, just ask. And good luck.