I know that words from some stranger on the internet don't mean much but it's never as bad as it seems. I was alone for a long time and you'll always be a little sad, there's no stopping it, but at the end of it all no matter what we're always alone.

In our darkest moments its just us and our inner dialogue, and at the end of it all its still just us. There is some truth to the expression that to love others you have to love yourself. How can you ever be comfortable with another human being if you aren't comfortable with yourself. Nobody can ever say they love who they are though, atleast not 100%, and anyone that tells you that they do are just compensating for some severe self esteem issues. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, its great that you hit the gym, its great that you try to better yourself as a person, but you have to do it for you, not for someone else, not for potential boyfriends, not for anybody. It's gotta be for you and you have to want it for you. If you do it for other people you'll always half ass it because you don't give a shit about a man that you haven't even met yet. You have to do it because its what you want and with that the satisfaction of achieving it will be 10 fold and a huge boost to your confidence.

Now aside from the philosophical and more onto the practical, fuck that guy. He's not worth a minute of your time. Its good that he bailed now instead of dragging you along. You want to be with someone that also wants to be with you, you don't want to be with someone that's just there for comfort, they have to want you or it wont work. You'll find someone eventually. As for meeting people I honestly have no good advice. You just have to expose yourself, increase your surface area. Join clubs, join gyms, attend community events, anything to just come into contact with lots of different people. I'm also an introvert but I got lucky and met someone through a friend.

There's something about everyone that's worth loving and everyone and everything is beautiful in its own way. Don't worry about never being loved. Imagine people that go through relationships like fast food, they "fall in love" every month, so what. Quantities not the name of the game. You only have to fall in love once and it's all worth it. I never in my life thought I'd find someone, but I did, and you will too, I have no doubt of that.