I'm Erka Koivunen, a Finnish cybersecurity expert. I know why governments want more access to your online data. And I know that not everything they want can be considered as balanced or proportional. AMA!

I worked corporate IT for a while, I frickin' LOVED 'BOTH'! I was so tempted to pull some of his stuff, and the hell of it was ... if careful, I could have gotten by with a lot of it.

Really, one of our 'problem users' kept dragging (Windows) operating files to the Trash and emptying it because she kept everything she ever did, and was running out of room. I finally told her (and I've since seen elsewhere from other BOFHs, honest to God I didn't steal it) "if I have to come back here again for this shit, you're getting an abacus or a calculator, your choice". That finally stopped the problems for as long as I was there.

The hilarious thing is that we in IT had the office folks completely buffaloed, and there was no way I could have actually done that without getting into deep trouble. Even our lovable lead operator (he really was the nicest guy I've ever met, I think) would mess with their heads if they came back to IT because they did something stupid. I wish I'd have had his grace in cutting them off at the knees without them realizing what he just did until they got back to their offices.

"Can't sleep, IT will eat me. Can't sleep, IT will eat me ...", I mean we were pretty much the scary clowns in the company. It worked, for the most part. We were glad to fix real problems, but the stupid, it hurts us.

The ironically funniest thing we ever did is so juvenile that it worked - when we got notice that they were closing our location and we got a new interim manager that promptly got tagged within our little madhouse as "Hillbilly Bear". No, he wasn't an obvious hillbilly (I was/am), but he actually looked enough like the cartoon character that it stuck. The nightshift guy kept referring to him as such, to the point that none of us could talk to him with a straight face without a lot of effort. So, the juvenile prank that any kid can pull with Windows - one of us (I'm not telling) went into his office after hours (damnfool didn't know we had keys to just about everything, we needed them), did a screenshot of his home screen, removed the billion icons he had on his desktop and made the screenshot his background. Stupid trick, but we kept him mostly out of our hair for a couple of weeks with it. I drew the short straw and had been doing the financial projections (mostly why they hired me, they could have gotten mainframe operators cheaper), and Hillbilly Bear wanted copies. At first I just locked them so he couldn't change anything (God knows I didn't want corporate to get a copy of one of my sheets where he'd "plugged" discrete numbers over the top of complex formulas), and finally I had to unlock them. I told our corporate IT manager "look I did this because he insisted, I wouldn't trust anything he sends to corporate so you may need to head this off at your level". Still the place shut down, totally illogically and against everything my analysis had shown (and I did not slant the numbers in any way. My philosophy is that it is what it is, and if it's bad I'm not going to massage it to save us.)

But the good news - Hillbilly Bear got replaced by an ex pro football player with business creds, and although that guy was intimidating to most of the staff I thought he was awesome! They scheduled individual employee paper reviews, to be discussed by each department head with him. My boss was sweating about trying to keep me (he was a great guy), as I had really long, curly hair down to mid-back and he figured that was a deal breaker with this jock. I promised to cut it if it meant my job, but not for a lesser reason. He came back laughing, and told me "he asked 'what's the deal with the 30-something guy with all the hair". My boss said, "well, he's a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism, and he does what they call Heavy Combat, which is basically +/- 4# stick fighting in armour". He said Jock Guy thought a second and said "I've seen those guys fight when I lived in California, they're mostly big guys, how's he do?" My boss says "I go watch them now and then, he holds his own" which is a great exaggeration. Jock Boss says "Outstanding! Put him on full time, and what did you offer him? That's not enough, give him a raise."

There are a lot of reward to being a BOFH, I wish I was still able to work because I'd do my best to be one.

/r/IAmA Thread Parent