I'm going through a rough time and I outed my boyfriend to my best friend.

I really don't think you did anything wrong, certainly nothing worth beating yourself up over!

You've been going through a lot. Life is life. You met up with a friend who you don't regularly see and you just filled her in on the latest (which no doubt involves your BF)... in doing so, you let your BF's trans status slip. No malintent intended, obviously. Just because it "wasn't your place to tell her" doesn't mean you should filter yourself during a therapeutic vent session with someone you trust (ie, your BFF)... and I think it's incredibly selfish and honestly kind of abusive for your BF to suggest otherwise!

Your mental health and well-being take priority... you shouldn't have to filter yourself around people you trust because your boyfriend is insecure! It's your best friend.. and you only see her every couple months- does he even know her, her husband, or their friends or is he just trying to exert power over your autonomy and overstep? His response honestly feels controlling and manipulative. He's claiming your ashamed, that's him projecting. You've made clear you accidentally outed him, when you didn't have any obligation to do so. You clearly respect him and it sounds to me like he's just trying to gaslight you, for whatever reason.

/r/ftm Thread