Hi, I'm 17, male and from the UK.

I have the same problem as OP. I'm trying to become a better/nicer person because of the damage I have done to family members and friends, your post in general has been pretty on point and given me some things to think about. The problem I have though is I make a lot of nasty comments, sometimes for no reason and sometimes for jokes. Normally these things are said to friends and family members, a bit of both. Some people don't take what I say to heart and class it as banter (friendly insults/jokes) but people who do take offence to my comments (like my mother and my sister) get quite offended and say that I'm a nasty person because of it. I have some questions/advice, I would appreciate if you could guide me.

Firstly, how would I stick to being a nicer person? as you mentioned about 'acting a certain way may have worked out for you in the past', that I think is quite on point referring to the way I act. Saying mean comments has worked for me, why? I think it's because it makes people laugh, and that's what I enjoy, making people laugh. I would say people find me a funny person (because they laugh, I think that's a good indicator, right?) but it's mainly because my jokes are in poor taste or insulting another individual (sometimes within my own friendship group), such as picking on the way they act, etc. Question TLDR; My jokes are what I enjoy, it makes my friends laugh, but they're through mean comments and I my friends even say that I am a dick for what I say, it's not something what I want to be known for, but what else do I bring to the table, it's a key quality of mine (lol)?

Also, I think another reason for me saying the things I do is because I'm not an emotional person (at least I don't think I am), I can say things and if people are hurt, it just becomes awkward so I'll just be quiet, continue on or ignore it. I also laugh at things that are horrible (such as when disabled people speak on the television, I find that funny) and I know it's horrible but I find that I can laugh and get away with it. I need help, is there anything that I can do to fix this, I could live with myself being an ass hole, and I don't hate myself for it, but on the other hand, I know for a fact I don't want to be that person. I want to change before it's too late.

Thanks for reading, I hope this post isn't a nuisance.