I'm from Long Island. Cultural norm is usually Vegas for the weekend (which is what I did for the friend who's bitching about the money).

I will say, my matron of honor is by no means wealthy. From what I have overheard it sounds like she's planning a party that involves us borrowing her mother-in-law's beach house for the weekend, a vineyard trip, and probably dinner. Knowing my matron and the type of person she is, she probably has a ton of mini activities planned such a mini golf, a lighthouse tour, farm stand stops, corn mazes if they're open, which I could definitely see adding up to be expensive. But really how hard is it to say well it's ok if we just do activity a instead of activities a,b,and c, as oppose to just throwing a general "it's too expensive, I'm not coming".

As for everyone's fiancial issues. Of my seven bridesmaids (six will be attending) and the four high school friends I wanted to come, only one is still in school. Every single other person has full time jobs. Now I know a full time job doesn't guarantee you're raking in the dough but I know all of these people's lifestyles and honestly I can't see my matron of honor and maid of honor planning anything that would be that above and beyond price wise.

I think I'm just frustrated that every "extra" thing (bridal shower/bachelorette party/rehearsal dinner) having to do with my wedding has turned into a fight between people. I'm frustrated that no one seems to care enough to just get along. I know my sisters don't like my matron of honor. I know my matron of honor has beef with two of my high school friends. And my mother just likes to be a negative nancy. I just wish everyone would grin and bear it for me.