Honestly I'd say you're just desensitized to a lot of the stuff for the most part. I have also experienced this state of limbo after years of being in this addiction. And I would also go as far as to guess that you haven't delved into more and more extreme forms of P to meet that dopamine craving as you got desensitized to the usual vanilla stuff. Which is a good thing. People only have regrets, those who go down that path.

That being said, I don't think you've stayed away from pmo long enough to know if you're really free from the addiction. I would myself assume it had no part in my life when I'd mechanically do it every once or twice a day just to get it over with when everything else was going pretty smoothly. To test my theory however, when I decided to stop cold turkey for a week.. that's when I realized how addicted I was to it. I began craving to just peek. Even though I was well aware in my head that it's not going to bring life changing satisfaction once I was done with it. I was "bored" of it after all. But why was it still hard to stop even after knowing it. That's when I learned I had to discipline myself and decided to take the struggle and it's also where this community has been really helpful.

Would definitely suggest you to try the same (abstain for at least 2 weeks) and see if you still think you can do without it. If not, you have this community to support you with any struggles you may be having. If yes, why return to it at all my man. Go on and achieve the more important things in life. Wish you the best and stay strong.