I am here to tell you just by reading how he acts towards the kids and manipulates you two between each other with his awful words (I was in a pretty much identical situation with my Nex and 3 year old daughter) so I’m proud of you for having the courage to do what is absolutely best for your kids. Narcs will try to tell you “you’re splitting up the family” (another way of using the children to their advantage, per se) as a guilt trip to get you to stay. That’s what kept me personally for a long time, UNTIL I went to therapy and learned - quite the opposite. You’re doing the right thing for your kids, I promise. Even if they say you aren’t. Stay strong and best of luck to you.