Thanks man.. I appreciate it.. I just woke from 3 hours sleep.. My hatred my parents peaked yesterday night I just couldn't bear it anymore. My arms are shaking cause he was clawing at it all night, just spewing shit out of his mouth, beating my mother. He tore her wedding necklace from her neck yesterday (not the first time that happened) God damn it he's still drunk now even though he has work.. I'm like anxious all the time thinking my neighbors heard our fiasco (is that the right word? Sorry English is not my native language) everyday, we're basically renting one house, it's pretty big, left side belongs to us and right to them, I fear they may call us out or reprimand us and our reputation is gonna be lost or something not sure if I'm putting it into right words and not only that this has been going on for years since I was a kid, it has influenced my life and school life. I'm pretty sure I could have done well academically and be kind of not suck at school and could have become popular too.. But I became a shut in and chose to just sit in front of my comp all day and waste my time as an outlet for my frustration of something.. I dunno it is my escape from reality.. Chatting with random strangers.. Playing games with strangers.. I feel zen there. And damn it I got a pretty big family and network and stuff but both my parents side doesn't even approve of me and doesn't talk to me.. Damn this ducks I'm just rambling at this point. My mother's side of family is like super rich and elitist so naturally they don't approve of me and are always against me (our family is just kinda middle income I guess) my father's side is in another state and totally ignores us, they didn't at one point I was quite friendly with them I liked them but due to an incident they completely shut us off