The Rapture Episode
Liz: Welcome back to TrueAnon, I'm Liz.
Brayce: And I'm Brayce. And today, folks, we have some news that is, well, I don't know how to put it...
Liz: Surreal? Bizarre? Apocalyptic maybe?
Brayce: Yeah, all of the above. Because, folks, it turns out the biblical rapture is happening. Right now.
Liz: Like, actually happening. People are vanishing in thin air, leaving their clothes behind, and we're not talking about some David Blaine magic trick here. This is the real deal.
Brayce: Which, of course, begs the question: why the hell are we still here?
Liz: Yeah, seriously. I thought I was a pretty good person, at least in the top 50% or something.
Brayce: Well, if it's any consolation, I'm here too, and I've been known to be quite the sinner, if you catch my drift.
Liz: (laughs) Yeah, maybe it's like a reverse rapture, and all the bad people get left behind to party on Earth.
Brayce: I mean, look, I'm all for a good party and all, but this is some next level stuff. I'm not even sure if I should be laughing or freaking out right now.
Liz: I know, it's hard to wrap your head around. But we've got to stay true to the TrueAnon spirit and find the humor in this, right? I mean, think about it - this has to be the most epic "I told you so" moment for all the hardcore evangelicals out there.
Brayce: (laughs) Yeah, they're probably floating up to heaven right now with the smuggest looks on their faces. Good for them, I guess.
Liz: But seriously, what does this mean for us? Is this reality? Are we stuck in some kind of weird simulation?
Brayce: I don't know, man. I keep pinching myself, thinking I'll wake up, but it's not happening. This is just... too strange.
Liz: And what about all the people we know who got raptured? Do we just go on without them? Do we get to see them again? So many questions.
Brayce: Well, if it's anything like the movies, we're in for a wild ride. Maybe we'll team up with other "left behind" folks and figure out how to survive in this new world.
Liz: Yeah, we'll start our own post-rapture commune, a haven for sinners and skeptics alike. We can have philosophical discussions about the nature of reality and the existence of God while we grow our own food and stuff.
Brayce: (laughs) Now that sounds like a utopia I wouldn't mind being a part of. But, let's not get ahead of ourselves. We still don't know the full extent of what's going on here, and we need to keep our eyes and ears open.
Liz: Absolutely. We'll keep you updated, dear listeners, as we navigate this brave new world. In the meantime, if you're still on Earth with us, let's band together and make the best of it.
Brayce: Yeah, and if you have any tips on how to survive the apocalypse or how to grow tomatoes in a post-rapture environment, hit us up on Twitter or Instagram.
Liz: Until next time, stay grounded, and remember: the truth is out there... somewhere. I'm Liz.
Brayce: And I'm Brayce. And we are...
Liz and Brayce: TrueAnon.