I think most of us probably have to deal with something similar. Everyone has some people in their lives who won't freak out over poly, and some people who they don't care if they freak out... but others that could lead to serious consequences.

In my own poly group, I'm open with damn near everyone because I feel that love isn't something you keep secret, and it irks me that the others have exceptions, even while i guess I understand it.

The only people i'm not open about my poly with are my coworkers, because I don't want to risk my job. But then, I don't really care all that much about my coworkers anyway, they're not important people in my life. My friends and family, on the other hand, all know... but I recognize that I might have it easy in that regard because they're mostly understanding.

One of my partners is mostly out about poly, except to her family, who she's deathly afraid will disown her. Honestly, this is one of the big roadblocks in our relationship. She wants to have something akin to a wedding (but not an actual wedding because, you know, she has a husband already). But I just can't see it being serious if it's still being kept a secret from some of the most important people in her life.

My second partner is pretty much open with everyone. Easy-peasy.

My third partner is in a sorta' combination of all three situations. She's estranged from much of her family, so I don't care what they do or don't know because they're not important to her. She's been open with the parts of her family she does care about, and they've largely been cool. And she hasn't told most of her friends... but most of her friends are also coworkers, so that's kinda' understandable.

In the end, I'm okay with all of them going at their own pace, but to some extent I feel that acts as a limiter on our relationships, at least the first partner I mentioned. I totally understand her concern and I don't think she's wrong to be worried, but that doesn't change that I can't pretend that the issue doesn't exist.

Like with many things poly, it's... complicated.