A male mutual friend has offered to help my boyfriend and me fix up my motorcycle. The friend totally ignores me and only addresses the BF, and I'm feeling stupidly nervous about asking to be included. Halp! (story in comments)

I bought a motorcycle from a guy on Craigslist, call him Joe. Joe is about 50 and clearly loves fixing up bikes, and has a very impressive shop in his basement. My boyfriend Tim knows a lot more than I do about motorcycles, so I brought him with me to check out the bike. Before purchasing Joe was showing off the bike, and basically only addressed Tim, even though I was right there AND the one who was actually thinking of buying it. After I decided to buy the bike, Joe finally addressed me -- to ask me to hold the bike upright so he could show Tim the oil gauge!

The bike needs a bit of work, and part of the deal I made when I decided to buy it is that Joe would help show me/us how to do the repairs. Joe is clearly a pleasant, friendly, non-creepy guy, and since he has lot of experience and the right setup and tools, he's a very valuable resource. The work that he promised to do with us would cost $500+ to have done in a shop. Tim and I ordered a few parts online, and the plan was for us to go back to Joe's some time next week, when they get in. The repairs will take several hours.

Normally I'm confident and I'm reasonably mechanically competent. But something about this situation has been giving me serious panic attacks. I feel so tiny and stupid being ignored, especially with regards to MY. BIKE.

I don't want to exclude my boyfriend when I go back to Joe's for the repairs, because Tim loves motorcycles and it's not his fault that Joe is being the way he is. I feel like at this point excluding Tim would be a little weird. I also only just got my license and would feel a lot more comfortable if Tim were the one to ride the bike the hour to Joe's place. No one we know has a trailer we could carry the bike on.

Please help... support/guidance/anything... the logical part of me knows that going back to Joe for the repairs makes the most sense by far, but I'm really dreading feeling so tiny, stupid, and useless again. The dumbest thing is that I don't think Joe is a misogynist. The world of motorcycles and especially motorcycle repairs is a total sausage fest, and I think he just assumed I wouldn't be interested.

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