Well, here's my position. I am terrified of failure. At the moment, I'm unemployed, I'm four semesters into a program I lost all faith in. I have to organize my resume and work history, but I haven't worked since last summer, and I feel that will reflect badly on me. I have a DUI from sleeping in my car drunk, and I'm not sure if that would come up in interviews, so I'm hesitant to find out and risk bringing that up, and having to explain myself if it does. I wasn't 21 at the time, so I lost my license, and everything is far from where I live. I have some disorder which makes my hands shake, so I look like some sort of invalid. I lost my appetite a year ago, so I look anorexic.

I strongly dislike meeting people, of introducing myself, or of giving a bad impression. So I avoid it. I don't want to find out I'm unemployable, so I don't apply. I don't want to find out my major has no job opportunities, so I want to quit. I don't want to find out I'm unlikable, so I don't talk to people.

I recognize that it's a self-fulfilling line of reasoning, but it seems as though it would be easier to ride it out to its natural conclusion than to try and fight it all the time. At this point I'll run out of funds in a month or two, and while I hope I can muster the energy to prevent it, I think suicide would be appropriate if that came to pass.

Obviously that's not the ideal way for one to live ones' life, but it fits in pretty well with my personal ethics. I've been raised to value independence, self sufficiency, and personal freedom. My life is my own, I'm free to succeed, to fail, or to opt out at my own discretion, I have no right to expect help from others, nor do they have the right to expect my continuing participation in life.