I went through that in a non ldr relationship, I did what I thought my partner would like when I wasn't full comfortable and in tjr beginning it was ok because i was in love I guess or this idea of never complaining to be a good girlfriend but with time I realize I was dealing with flashbacks of abuse in my past and that somehow triggered me Everytime I was with him, I asked him for a pause sexually for a few months and told him about it (what was going on with Me) I think he partially understood and basically started all over again in the sexual field, tbh now I realize there was something with him I was never fully comfortable again and eventually paid the price of lack of intimacy and other problems we carried, I'm sorry if this is not the answer you wanted but maybe she's dealing with something similar?

A big honest talk is my advice and lots of comprehension, I think you both guys need to get what you want and it's fine