Me (M 23) her (f23) I am a liar and a cheat. I don't want to be. Help

Listen man, I'm not going to call you an asshole. You already know your an asshole. But I'm going to tell you how it is. You state that you love your girlfriend. But no more than a word or two prior you state that you have broke her heart several times. I was slightly relieved when you said you were sexting but in truth its just as bad as cheating physically.

I've been in a similar position to your girlfriend. I consider myself a pretty awesome guy. I work hard, have fun, and in general put my all in. But my partner still sexted other guys and it wasnt pretty. I'll answer your questions later. Let me tell you how your girlfriend feels.

Everytime she finds out you sexted with another woman she feels a little more broken. Your probably wondering why she doesnt leave you? Its likely because she loves you more than she loves herself which is the mark of an incredible partner. Now everytime she finds out you have been sexting with another woman she probably loses respect for herself and increases dependency on you.

This is because everytime you hurt her you are the only one who can in the short term make it better. The influx of negative emotions is fucking insane for her. If she's anything like me she probably feels worthless, undesired, inept, confused, and worst of all staggered.

Now what do I mean when I say staggered? What I mean is she allows herself to be kept in this shitty relationship with a guy she cant trust and its staggering her life causing her to not retain the traction of progress and fall behind her peers.

My honest opinion is that you say you love your girlfriend but you dont. There is OBVIOUSLY something lacking in your relationship or you wouldnt need validation from other women. My opinion is that you have no desire to change and everything is about in the moment feelings for you. For instance right now you probably feel like shes going to leave you so your worried asking us "if this kind of scenario has ever worked out".

Dude... this is just emberassing. What do you mean if its ever worked out? You act like your helpless. Your girlfriend doesnt have some magic button she can press to change your commitment level and need for validation from other people. Thats on you. Thats internal strength as opposed to external validation.

If YOU want your relationship to work out. I suggest you get into therapy to figure out why you cheat and are so okay with breaking this young ladies heart as often as you do. But I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and say based off your post you arent going to do that in which case my BEST advice to you is this.

Dump this girl now. She obviously has more respect for you than herself otherwise she wouldnt be dealing with your bullshit. Everytime you break her trust you fuck up her perceptions of what a good relationship is. You cause her unnecessary pain because your too childish to admit you arent happy with her in the first place.

/r/relationships Thread