I have a doctor appointment set up for a couple weeks from now. And then I'll probably have to get a referral to see the doctor I need to. I'm trying to just stop myself from losing my mind until then. It's really been a hard week.

I tried getting mental help before and I don't want to do that again. The pills I got off of a year and a half ago are actually fueling this breakdown. I'm afraid they caused it. I know that sounds silly but I'm really scared and I was kind of traumatized by the mental healthcare system. I don't know if that trauma is contributing to me having these physical symptoms or to what degree it's real. I feel like I'm losing my mind man.