Wait it out, the thick and thin will teach you about that person. I met my boyfriend the week after he finished school and fell head over heels for him, we barely even talked about his service. Then he moved to Norfolk, three states away. I was heartbroken when he left and thats when i knew i had to have him. I make regular trips to go see him and he comes to see me when he can. I understand what his life is like and im fine when he leaves for underways. A person whos just after the benefits most likely wont tolerate underways, duty days, bad schedules, all that. Best way to protect yourself is probably not talk much about benefits and all that. Better safe than sorry.