I've come into this way late, but I want to pass time, so here goes!

When I was three, my dad suffered a number of strokes, which paralyzed him pretty badly, and for two years I watched helplessly as my mum did everything in her power to ensure that he was as comfortable and happy as she humanly could. I didn't quite know what was happening, and recall just feeling as though it was normal. I'd sit on his lap talking to him, but after a heart attack and yet another stroke he lost all ability to formulate and speak full sentences, and so relied on other means of communicating.

I don't remember it happening, but one day, he was just gone. When I was five years old, he died. I rapidly lost confidence, and felt isolated and apart from other people, as I saw all my friends with perfect little families, living 'normal' lives, and I was stuck watching my mum cope with depression, mounting debt and a constant struggle to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, etc.

Without a father figure around, I became a bit of a handful, tantrums, etc. This only added to my mums stress, but she got through it, and did, and still to this day does all she can to ensure the family is happy. Another downside to not having a father around, is while my mother was out working, I would spend a lot of time at other people's houses, baby sitters, family picking me up from school. This requirement left me in a spot where my cousin would take care of me after school and babysit me. She was older than me, but not by much, and by this time I was around the age of seven. I suspect she suffered abuse at the hand of her father, but in time, she slowly started to molest me, which royally fucked me up. From there, I lost confidence, grew isolated from other people, and found the majority of my time allocated to reading comics and playing video games to escape everything. This nerdiness and reclusive behaviour, as you can imagine, lead to bullying. It was pretty nasty. Spat on, kicked in the head, beaten half unconscious, just to name a few of my most fun times.

I'm now 24, suffer from bipolar, struggle to make ends meat working my ass off doing freelance software development, and just looking for something or some way to feel normal.

That's how my experience was.

As for the kind of support? Honestly, I don't know, he's 21. It'll be tough, I didn't have my father during my most crucial stages of life, so it may be harder on him, as he had that cemented bond. Just stick by him, do things with him that will keep his mind occupied, talk with him, and don't belittle him when he feels the need to cry and wants someone to hug, be there arms open with a shoulder for him to cry on.