As someone who was a middle child and the whipping boy, don't let them make you feel guilty. I don't remember anything before 12th grade for the most part because of trauma. My dad was a psychotic drunk and he made me fear every moment of my life at home. He told me I was an idiot and a spoiled brat constantly. He beat the shit out of me once (not the only time by any means), tearing my shirt off and then threw me out with no shoes or socks on in the middle of winter. I remember it was snowing with big soft flakes. I have severe anxiety problems that will probably never go away.

I'm 31 now, when I was 18 I joined the air force and I left for 10 years before finally returning home this year for good. It was a slow revelation but I realized I'm a normal person. A person who has good things to offer other people. I'm witty and people like to talk to me. I make friends easily. If I try at something, I'm usually a success. I learn quickly. But, around my family, I AM NONE OF THESE THINGS. They drain my will to live with their own darkness.

The only real way to deal with having a family that has no positive impact on you is to keep them at arms length. I'm always polite. But I never invite a conversation or visit. They don't get that privilege. I am my own person with my own life and positivity and they will never get to ruin that or share it with me.

What I'm saying is, all your success isn't magically happening because you moved. YOU are the success. YOU are the change. But I'd wager a lot of this is being able to totally control contact with your family. Keep it that way. If you get a bad emotion or feeling because of them, push them away. They aren't going to help you like you've helped yourself.