My realization is that

I make a plan, and I follow it and sometimes I look back at the past and realize how much I grown.

And you won't notice it for a while when you just started. The hardest part is to keep going and finding out what works. Don't try to do things that won't work thinking it would work the next day. Experiment and when you fail don't make it so obvious, just shrug it off and have the confidence to try again a different way.

And sometimes I see that the girls as shy as I was and I realize that I really have grown. Nowadays I feel so down about my work and maybe it's just my mind telling me that it's time to move on. I will move on in a few months just to see if my mind is playing games and I am not just quitting to be a quitter.

And when I quit, the hardest part would be accepting myself as I am. Not letting expectations and desires rule myself. I think when I become more tolerant of others, the bullies, the wealthy, the downers, etc... then I will be more tolerant of myself because they're all valid.