My BPD/N mother is a psychiatrist. She has a lot of empathy - for other people.

My mom is the same way. She cares about people as long as they don't threaten her.

Does it matter if you have BPD or just a really horrible case of FLEAS/PTSD? I think the only thing that matters is that you get proper support and proper help. You've been through hell, and I wouldn't wish your experience on my worst enemy.

It doesn't matter to me, but honestly, I dont want the BPD label if it means people will treat me like a fucking demon-child from hell. Like I said, I dont show any hard sign of BPD, but I do suffer from abandonment issues from losing my only loving parent - my dad.

I can see that you are extremely skeptical of the entire psychological profession, and I also understand that. Took me until I was in my 40's to get some real therapy

I'm happy that you've gotten "real" therapy, but It's not for me. I much prefer meditation, yoga, and mindful conversations in safe spaces. Doing this has given me room to heal in the past, and it's my go-to method of dealing when things get rough.

As an adult, you can also read up on therapies that work for BPD and/0r PTSD and try to help yourself through those therapies. IF the time comes that you're ready once again to go to a therapist, you are an adult - you can fire the therapist at any time - you can also cherry pick a therapist who specializes in the type of therapy you believe you need to live life to the fullest.

Ive been to a therapist as an adult, and they did the same thing: They would sit, ask bullshit questions, and make bullshit observations.

I was forced to informally study psychology (I was my moms child, I had to be knowledgeable), so I am usually 20-steps ahead of any 2-bit therapist out there. And, that's most of them.

I find the whole "go to therapy" cliche to be incredibly dismissive, and wrongheaded.

Thanks for the well wished, but I tend to be a realist. No amount of well wishes will help me, if I don't help myself.