I think I know what you mean. My Nmom would tell others about something that happened in my presence and of course she was the hero, the funny, smart, good person etc. while that didn't happen, at all. Emotional or physical abuse would follow when I would say something wrong when asked to confirm (parts of) the story. My dad is also a Narc (wich took me way too long to figure out) and the two of them were constant fireworks and not the pretty stuff. She created this whole fantasy life to deal with the divorce, childhood, her feelings as a parent, feelings about herself.

Unfortunately but also fortunately, I do not fit in that fantasy. I am getting the silent treatment for 25 years now. Besides those two times I spoke to her when I searched her and found her in my early 20's. She told people our father had us in his power (70% true), put us up against her (80% true) and I was on drugs and my sister was an alcoholic. We stole from her, something like that and that was why she cut us out of her life. Have not even touched softdrugs ever and didn't drink (disliked alcohol) until after she left us, when I was 17. I have decided that the best way to love each other, is to leave each other alone. She can live in her fantasy world and I can live in reality. We would clash constantly trying to have a relationship cause I won't shut up anymore when she lies.