I believe this too, which is why I am having such a qualm about it. In all honesty though, it is not about the money. I could honestly care less about the money. It is about trying to get my husband to admit that SS is causing trouble.
Both other children have strict rules they have to follow. (I might even say too strict). If SD or DS so much as talk out of turn at the dinner table they are put in their place. When it comes to SS though, it is always a shrug and an excuse.
Come home and smell smoke coming from SS's locked room and then find burning magazines thrown out his window? Well, he said he didn't do it.
Find the uniquely folder $60 in the exact same formation as missing from DS's piggy bank tucked inside SS's jeans? Well, he said he didn't take it.
Catch SS having stolen his air soft rifles out of our room without permission and then shooting them without eye protection at his friend and the dog? 5 seconds of growling, then leave him with the guns and tell him not to do it again. Ignore when he goes right back to what he was doing.
He bullies my son? Boys will be boys.
The list goes on.
Either of the other children would have been grounded, made to pay back money, had rights restricted (which I fully support). SS rarely even gets a talking to. And SS's behavior and general attitude seems to be getting worse.
My husband has made it clear that on no uncertain terms is SS going to go to counseling. It is putting a strain on our marriage, and I don't honestly know how I can make it through another 6 years of this.
DH and I need counselling, but I am not sure how that is going to go. I would like to at least get him to realize that SS isn't some innocent bystander. In general, my DH and I have a good relationship--SS being our main point of contention.
I'm willing to let a lot of things go. I don't go in SS's room anymore. I don't call him out on lines. I protect my DS by not leaving them home alone together. I ignore his attitude. But, I have to draw a line somewhere, and I need to have my husband see it is a valid line. I am at such a loss for how to do that without starting WWIII